G3 The ball of Kerrymuir
Four and twenty virgins
Came up from Inverness,
And when the ball was over
There were four and twenty less.

Swing your balls to your partner
Arse against the wall!
If you never get fucked on a Saturday night,
You'll never get fucked at all!

There was fucking in the kitchen,
There was fucking in the halls,
You couldn't hear the music
For the clanging of the balls.

Swing your...

The village doctor, he was there,
He had his bag of tricks,
And in between the dances
He was sterilizing pricks.

Now, little Tommy, he was there,
But he was only eight.
He couldn't root the women
So he had to masturbate.

Old McGregor, he was there
A mighty man was he
He lined them up against the wall
And fucked them three by three

The village postman, he was there
The poor man had the pox
He couldn't fuck the lassies,
So he fucked a letterbox.

The village acrobat he was there,
Up to his favourite trick:
Pulling his arsehole over his head
And standing on the prick

Farmer Giles, he was there,
Sickle in his hand.
Every time he swung around,
He circumcised the band.

The village idiot he was there
Sitting on a pole.
He pulled his foreskin over his head
And whistled through the hole

The village whore, she was there
She kept the crowd in fits
Sliding down the bannister
An bouncing on her tits

The village vicar he was there
And in a corner sat,
Amusing himself by abusing himself
And catching it in his hat.

The village smithy, he was there
His prick was ironware
When the first begun to rust,
He swapped it for a spare.

And when the ball was over
Everyone confessed:
They all enjoyed the dancing,
But the fucking was the best!

G4 Den är för liten
(mel. Någonstans i Sverige)
Hans axlar är för smala
Och hans stjärt är för stor.
Hans ben är rätt skrala,
Han kan ej bedriva hor.
Men det gör detsamma, för det går ju ändå,
För jag har en annan

Hans kropp är rätt sliten
Och hans kulor är för små
Hans snopp är för liten
Och den vill inte stå
Men det gör detsamma för det går ju ändå
För jag har en annan